The Monotony of Adulthood

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Source: tattoosfuckyea

  • 6 years ago > fuckyeahcatsandtats
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About

The name on my birth certificate reads Felicia Marie. Just a short time ago, I was broken, or at least I thought I was. I had hit rock bottom and felt that my own life was unimportant.

I think I spent about 3 months in bed, doing nothing but eating hot cheetos and watching Netflix. Through trial and error of "feel-good" tactics, I found something worth investing my effort into: me.

I got a new job, a fantastic one at that, and put all of my time and focus on improving there. I moved up quickly and I learned a lot, but I was still the Ice Queen that shut everyone out.

Through all of this time, I truly had believed that I could shut off my emotions and not ever have to face them. That was, until I saw him in a new light; a softer light that brought out all of my insecurities and weaknesses, my fears.

I still remember standing in that parking lot, so soon into the relationship, tears running down my cheeks, telling him, "Don't hurt me." It wasn't until then that I even realized how vulnerable I felt and how much he was worth every single terrifying thought that ran through my head.

So, we threw grenades into every aspect of our lives, and here we are, as one. One heart, one being, one soul. All of this has made me realize that I was not broken, I was lost. I had lost my sense of who I really was.

I am intelligent, smart, strong, hard working and his (soon to be) wife, and that much is enough for me. I look in the mirror now and am proud at the woman I see. I finally love ME!
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